What’s the best way to hide the fact you are high?
As smoking cannabis becomes more socially acceptable, the times when getting caught when you’re stoned could be a major problem become fewer.
That doesn’t mean that you’ll never find yourself in such a predicament, so as the motto of stoned boy scouts suggests, – “Be prepared”.
If your parents have a happy knack of popping over unannounced and they disapprove of drugs, whatever their class, then do you want your home smelling like a café in Amsterdam all the time?
Consider smoking your weed next to a fully open window, though perhaps not if you live next door to a police station.
When there’s a knock at the door, before answering it, start running the shower or bath, and then invite your guests in, but explain you were just about to take a bath or shower as you stink after a long day at work if you know they disapprove of cannabis use.
Use that escape route and first off, drink a pint of water, as being fully hydrated will help to reduce the ‘symptoms’.
Thoroughly scrub up and wash away those pesky terpenes that have a habit of clinging to your skin and hair.
Don’t overdo the cologne or deodorant, as that can easily give the game away, but don’t forget to brush your teeth, scrape your tongue, and have a good gargle and rinse with a strong mouthwash.
Chewing some gum will do no harm either and for goodness’ sake don’t put your dope-smelling clothes back on, shove them in a bin liner to avoid the smell of cannabis escaping.
Don’t forget those bloodshot eyes either.
There are some great eyedrops out there that can sort that out for you in just a minute or two.
And the last job is to have another pint of water.
Having taken care of the physical side of things, there’s something else that could give away the fact you’ve been smoking cannabis and are high.
You, and your behavior.
That knock on the door can instantly transform how you feel from deeply relaxed to totally paranoid.
Stop for a moment and take a deep breath.
Now just be yourself and don’t overthink your behaviour, but be wary of the obvious giveaways.
Try to concentrate on what your guest is saying and don’t let your mind wander.
Stoned people tend to have a habit of letting their mind wander down the nearest available rabbit hole.
Don’t get involved in deep philosophical debates as, when stoned, we tend to believe that we know the answer to anything and everything when, in reality, we just sound stupid to anyone who isn’t stoned.
If you get struck down by the munchies, don’t disappear off to the kitchen and come back with two triple-decker sandwiches.
Instead, go and fill up a couple of bowls with crisps and peanuts, offer them to your guests first, and for Gods sake don’t open your mouth and consume all the peanuts in one go like a demented pelican.
Last, but not least, depending on what you have just had a hit from, try not to fall asleep in front of your guests.
Not only will that give the game away, it’s also bloody rude!
This is evidently just a brief list of our “suggestions” and we very much look forward to what you guys have to say in the comment section below!
