Money Solely: Visible Artist Clare Gillen on Breaking Up With Weed To Embrace San Pedro

This text was initially printed on Money Solely. Join the publication right here and observe Money Solely on Youtube, Instagram, and Twitter.

Clare Gillen is a visible artist, photographer, and inventive director — a real visionary, if you happen to ask us. Her work typically mixes magnificence and the grotesque, and it feels knowledgeable in equal elements by Cindy Sherman and Tim & Eric, although solely in spirit. Clare has developed a visible universe that’s all her personal. 

The Philly-born artist is thought for artwork directing, designing, and producing the dwell reveals for a who’s who of iconoclastic musicians — together with Rihanna, Blood Orange, Jack Antonoff, and King Princess — and he or she’s labored on music movies for the likes of KP (“Pussy Is God”), Lil Miquela, Lana Del Rey, and most not too long ago Eric Wareheim’s Las Jaras Wines.

The wine spot is a good entry level to Clare’s work. Within the frenetic clip, Spider-Man, Goofy, Mickey Mouse, and the Grinch get lit and spray suds on one another whereas T-Ache’s “Spray That Booty” soundtracks their shenanigans. The brief is edited completely, together with a montage of every mascot leaping off a hill and tripping, in addition to a second the place the lyrics “It’s gonna sound like I’m pissing” strains up with a shot of Goofy pretending to let a stream rip behind a tree. Really one for the books!

Exterior of her brain-blooming portfolio, Clare is a brilliant considerate individual with a dedication to wellness and self-care. When requested if she’d be down for a Money Solely interview, Clare defined that she had not too long ago taken a hiatus from weed in an effort to put together for a San Pedro and Kambo retreat. For the unfamiliar, San Pedro is a psychedelic cactus that’s been utilized for self-healing and spiritual rites for 1000’s of years. Kambo, alternatively, is a purge that entails pores and skin secretions from the kambo frog that get burnt into your pores and skin. 

As an everyday toker and “Philly Cheesesteak lady,” the ceremony’s required pre-cleanse offered a chance for Clare to embrace some life-style changes, together with modifications to her food regimen and the aforementioned weed break. We thought this was attention-grabbing and needed to study extra about different takeaways she gleaned from the distinctive psychedelic expertise. So, as a substitute of our 420 Recs sequence, Money Solely needed to current a dialog with Clare concerning the San Pedro / Kambo retreat. 

Beneath, the artist discusses how she modified her consumption habits previous to the ceremony, what really went down there, and the way it’s influenced her day-to-day life since. Inspiring stuff from an inspiring individual. Thanks Clare!!


So you latterly did a cleanse to arrange for a San Pedro ceremony. What did it entail?

Clare Gillen: My buddy invited me to this San Pedro ceremony in Connecticut, and it additionally included a Kambo ceremony the following day. I needed to prep for it, so that you don’t drink alcohol, you possibly can solely eat just about vegan meals — after which no espresso, no intercourse, and also you don’t eat THC (particularly for the Kambo). 

I used to be smoking weed fairly often earlier than, however I needed this plant drugs expertise to be life-changing in a elementary well being method. I did the ceremony a pair weeks in the past, and I haven’t smoked since, excluding one Saturday night time once I hit a scrumptious joint. Apart from that, I haven’t been utilizing weed in any respect and I’m off espresso, too. That is the primary time in my life I’m off espresso, so it’s an enormous deal for me. I’ve been consuming fairly near vegan, which can also be an enormous deal to me as a result of I’m a Philly Cheesesteak lady at coronary heart.

How lengthy do it’s a must to do the cleaning routine earlier than the ceremony?

They recommend every week, however some begin solely three or 4 days out. You need to be fairly clear for it. I transitioned to inexperienced tea and stated my goodbye to weed with a fats joint that I shared with some buddies. I used to be excited to leap into this new chapter. It’s actually bizarre, dude. I by no means felt like I had a motive to give up smoking, however this was a motive. It’s been actually inspiring as a result of it really works. I’ve no actual need to smoke now, and I believe one thing modified with my psychological habit to it. 

Are you able to inform me extra about what went down on the retreat?

So we received there on Friday, did some yoga, after which had a vegan dinner the place we received to know everybody and talked about San Pedro. The subsequent day we awoke, did some Pranayama (breathwork), after which we drank the San Pedro. We did some mantras, did some singing, after which made tremendous cozy spots for ourselves outdoors in a giant circle round an altar.

I noticed it was the primary time I’ve taken psychedelics with the intention of doing actually nothing. I’ve clearly taken psychedelics with buddies the place we kind of did nothing, however you’re nonetheless anticipated to make jokes or speak to one another or report on the way you’re feeling. You typically need to make it an journey, proper? However this was the alternative. It was like, “Let’s do nothing and actually simply lay and course of.” You’ll be able to cry if you wish to, take heed to songs if you wish to, go on a stroll, and many others. However I actually simply laid round.


How did the San Pedro make you are feeling?

The San Pedro felt actually, actually gentle and optimistic. Not everybody there had optimistic experiences, and everybody got here to it with totally different stuff they have been going by means of, however I simply felt actually built-in with the Earth. And it weirdly made me attractive. It made me need to be in contact with my physique extra and eat extra vegetation. The night time ended with us across the fireplace and we got here down and performed music and ate. It was wonderful. The subsequent day we did the Kambo. For that, you don’t eat, however you chug a gallon of water, meditate, after which they burn the poison into your arm. I nonetheless have a pair dots on me. 

The San Pedro excessive was so clear that I felt like I may have gone to work or pushed a automobile. It wasn’t as heavy as ayahuasca is. It was very, very physique. And San Pedro is named “the grandfather,” whereas ayahuasca is named “the grandmother.” You’re gonna hear it out of your grandmother — grandma is vulnerable to drop a bomb in your face, proper? However grandfather is a bit more passive about it. That’s the gendered connotation.

I positively was tripping and was conscious of that. Acid can typically really feel chemical-y, and mushrooms might be overwhelming, particularly visually, and so they also can really feel just a little swampy. However San Pedro felt very clear and really supportive. Plus, I used to be in a very good and grounded place once I went into it. I had been prepping with yoga, plus the food regimen integration stuff. I used to be simply able to obtain what it needed to give.

How did the Kambo expertise evaluate to the San Pedro?

Kambo isn’t psychedelic. Kambo is only a poison [laughs]. It’s over very quick. And, I’m not going to lie, I used to be very afraid of it. From what I had learn, I believed it will be very heavy and intensely scary on a bodily degree. I believed I’d nearly be in ache as a result of the poison hits you instantly. However I’d additionally learn that it will probably really feel euphoric. And once I took it, I felt the warmth rising and the poison flowing by means of my physique. I felt my face getting sizzling. However I didn’t really feel afraid. And the girl main the ceremony advised me, “Be courageous. The drugs likes whenever you’re courageous.” Apparently, Kambo was used for hundreds of years by hunters so they might have tremendous clear, unanxious minds. 

I began with 5 dots and I used to be not purging. I used to be chilling, respiratory, feeling it. I knew I wanted extra as a result of finally you need to purge, proper? It’s good to purge, they are saying. Then I used to be given two extra dots, and I hate throwing up, in order that was just a little bizarre for me. It ended up being wonderful as a result of after you are feeling very clear and actually renewed. It’s imagined to reset your physique from a molecular degree, and take toxins out. After the Kambo, we did this therapeutic session that was like a sound bathtub and so they did acupuncture and cupping on us. It was fucking wonderful, bro [laughs]. 

Have been you advised to proceed any practices after leaving the retreat?

Numerous what was talked about was to note integration. I’m now on this new age tip the place I’m satisfied you possibly can manifest stuff and there’s this psychic vitality to faucet into. My buddy was telling me about this French idea referred to as dérive that’s like an intuitive wandering technique. Through the industrial revolution, some individuals thought every thing was too deliberate and we would have liked to be extra random and intuitive. So that they’d go strolling intuitively and see the place that led them. I embraced that concept yesterday with the intention to run into somebody particular. I knew they frolicked at this park, and I believed I’d wander my method there, however then three blocks down from the place I began, not even close to the place they dwell, I bumped into them. Humorous, proper? That’s fucking cool to me. I believe most plant drugs is heart-opening, and our hearts have an intelligence that we don’t essentially observe. I really feel like I’m extra open to listening to what my coronary heart says now. Individuals hold asking me, “Did you’ve got any breakthroughs on San Pedro?” And I’m like, “My breakthrough was to eat clear and to steer with my coronary heart” [laughs].

So it is a tangent, however you stated the San Pedro made you attractive. Do you suppose human sexuality is extra influenced by the center than the mind?

Wow. That’s such a very good query. I do know my mind was in cost for a very long time due to the way it was primed rising up, from issues like porn and even the thought or assemble of a romantic fantasy. Particularly for girls, sexuality can typically be mental and fewer body-related. As I develop into a lady there’s one thing about tapping into the following degree. And the following degree for me is that there’s a path in the direction of coronary heart vitality — even Kundalini vitality. I need to discover that connection.

Now that the ceremony has handed, do you need to proceed this new relationship with what you set in your physique, like meals and weed?

I hope it lasts. Oh, I’ve a shaggy dog story that reveals how robust the life-style change was. On Saturday, after I used to be again from the ceremony, I went to brunch on the Butcher’s Daughter and ate pancakes. After consuming, I walked round for just a little, and I used to be like, “Oh, no… I would like to put down. I really feel horrible.” So I went dwelling to relaxation, and saved waking up and was like, “I really feel so dangerous. I’ve COVID. That is horrible.” It legit felt like once I really had COVID and it got here out of nowhere. Then I awoke a number of hours later and felt fully effective. I noticed I didn’t have COVID, I had simply eaten pancakes! However I felt sick! Most likely as a result of I hadn’t had that a lot sugar shortly. The meal geeked me out. I’ve all the time eaten no matter I would like, since endlessly, and I had an identical relationship with weed. The pre-ceremony cleanse made me tremendous delicate. 

How else did the San Pedro make you rethink your relationship with weed? 

I believe for lots of standard weed people who smoke, there may be this psychological habit that grows. I believe we regularly attain for weed as a crutch, however what we actually want is to maneuver our our bodies, or to maneuver some vitality round. I even have been interested by one thing I not too long ago learn concerning pleasure and ache. We’re over-pleasured as a society, which is definitely extra anxiety-inducing and makes us much less joyful. Our brains actually just like the homeostasis of ache blended in with pleasure. However in our tradition, we don’t have sufficient ache, we don’t power ourselves to run up the hill, we don’t power ourselves to sit down with ache and grieve. As a substitute, we attain for the bong. 

The fast-fix answer is much less efficient long-term, and it makes our brains freak out. Our brains need equilibrium and homeostasis — ache and pleasure. So for me, being like, “I’m not going to get that sugary drink” like I often would, and as a substitute having a tea… even one thing as delicate as that’s good for my mind. It’s good to not give your mind that rapid reward. I believe it builds this muscle of self-discipline, too.

What’s going to your relationship with weed be like going ahead? 

I believe for some time now, I’ve been grappling with the truth that if weed is handed to me, I hit it with out pondering. I began smoking like 15 years in the past, and I by no means actually stopped as a result of I beloved it. And in L.A., it’s in every single place. However going ahead, I need to be extra intentional with my use. I need to really feel who I’m uncooked, with none of these items. I need to strengthen my thoughts to be like, “Can I escape from this rat race or this gnarly world we dwell in by means of my very own means and strengthened connections to myself, to my coronary heart, to my fact?” It appears like shit, however I believe it’s extra commendable. Weed has all the time been a optimistic factor in my life, and I don’t suppose it would completely disappear, however I’m actually joyful to have this reset.

Any final ideas you need to add?

Sure, to conclude, weed has had such a optimistic influence on my life. My artistic development is intently tied to it. So shout-out weed, love you lady, thanks for every thing, however our relationship goes to vary just a little. This stuff shouldn’t be so high-contrast and black and white. I believe maturity is all about integration and actually being in contact with your self and what’s serving you within the second and what’s not. And proper now, I do know what’s working for me.

For extra on Clare Gillen:
Web site
Gilly Studio

The put up Money Solely: Visible Artist Clare Gillen on Breaking Up With Weed To Embrace San Pedro appeared first on Excessive Instances.

You May Also Like